You have time

Alexander

[Because I have an idea! Arete, Base TN4, -1 for being near the Node, WP because this is already partly written and I don't want to redo it!]

Dice: 1 d10 TN4 (9) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Alexander

[Duh! Wrong diff on the roll, but doesn't make a difference anyway.]

Alexander

The afternoon slowly slides into evening, and the light is already starting to fade. The extra hours brought by Daylight Savings are being countered by low, dark clouds rolling in over The Rockies. Between the ominous cloud and the frequent storm warnings hitting suitably equipped phones and computers across the city, the outlook for the next few hours isn’t a pleasant one. The distant rumble of thunder promises things to come. For the moment, though, things are a little more peaceful. The calm before the storm, perhaps.

It’s not a pleasant few hours for most, at any rate. There are always exceptions to any rule. Alexander happens to be one of them. He’s sitting outside, on the patio just outside the dining room. One of the chairs has been turned to give a better view of the back, of the Node, and further out. There’s a cup of coffee, still steaming gently, sat on the table next to an unfolded makeup mirror. It’s been touched, but is still fairly full if anyone should happen to look in it. He’s in walking boots, dark green combats, and an old SPD sweatshirt. He appears to be watching something, or at least waiting distractedly. His gaze is off towards the Node.

Kalen Holliday

[Nightmares]

Dice: 6 d10 TN7 (2, 2, 3, 3, 6, 8) ( success x 1 )

Kalen Holliday

[And how distracted are we by Resonance?]

Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8) ( success x 2 )

Kalen Holliday

Kalen has been spending more time with some other things than at the chantry lately. He has projects with Grace and he has...other distractions which might be people who like to drop in unannounced at the house he until recently almost never even touched.

That and wandering around, now that he has more freedom to wander.

He comes into the chantry and heads toward where he can sense Alexander. Easy. Quietly. And, of perhaps more note to Alexander, completely on his own feet. No cane. Not even a limp. He takes in the sight of Alexander and the mirror and the way he looks out at something distant. He steps out onto the patio and sets a to watch the storm roll in. He may not be watching what Alexander is, but Kalen, in what must surprise no one given his Resonance, rather loves storms. He's content to just settle near Alexander and watch. And maybe doze a little, but that is neither here nor there.

Alexander

[Are we aware too?]

Dice: 4 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 7, 9) ( success x 2 )

Alexander

The feeling of an approaching storm gets stronger, and it takes a little while for Alexander to realise that it’s coming from someone familiar instead of an act of nature. “Hey,” Alexander says quietly as Kalen comes out to join him and settles on another chair. He looks over and smiles as the other man sits and gets comfortable. “You’re looking... well.” Tired as always, yes. But the way he walks is noticed. “Did Sera finally get her hands on you?” Having been patched up by her before, it seems a logical conclusion to jump to.

He turns his head back to look out towards the Node again, and Kalen might notice a faint smile. Alexander is paying attention though.

Kalen Holliday

Kalen laughs at that. "No. This wasn't Sera's doing, although I am sure she would have if she could. I had...I had complicated old injuries. That kind of thing can be very difficult to heal, even for us." He settles into a casual sprawl over the patio chair.

"How are you? What are you watching?" He watches Alexander through half-closed eyes; even so, there is a definite weight to Kalen's full attention that presses against perceptions like wind or the feeling of the air just before lightning strikes. It may be for the best that he gives his full attention to anyone so rarely.

Alexander

“I’m surprised she hadn’t tried. She seems so keen on doing things.” At least, compared to most of the others he’s met. Thinking about it, has he seen Kalen work his will on anything since the trip to the Umbra..? “I kept meaning to ask, what happened to it? Anything to do with the vampire?”

Alexander looks over at Kalen when he asks how he’s doing, then picks up the almost-forgotten coffee cup and drinks a couple of mouthfuls. “I’m doing ok, I guess. Still working out where I fit in the grand scheme of things; working out what works for me. Oh – I finally caught up with Alyssa. I like her. I can definitely see why you’d want to team up with her.” Again, he looks back up the garden after putting the now nearly-empty mug back on the table. “She said she’d be up for teaching me about spirits too.”

He nods towards where he’s looking. “Did you know there’s one here?”

Kalen Holliday

"Callisto?" Kalen asks, his eyes widening and his voice softening with absolute awe. "The massive bear spirit that guards this place? Shoshannah let me see her once, but I can't on my own." He turns his gaze to where Alexander in looking. "She's there?" He watches that place, even though he can't see Callisto.

"And no. Nothing to do with the vampire beyond that everything is ultimately connected." He keeps his eyes where he thinks Callisto must be. "I was part of another chantry before this one, a Hermetic chantry out in Flagstaff. I lived-" He swallows. "There was an accident when I was young, and so my mother lost herself. She was lost before that, really, but more so after. I don't remember that much that happened before, because I was only six, but it wasn't much better before that because my mother was different it was better because of my sister.

"So, I spent a lot of time not being home. I guess, I mean with your job you see a lot of that. It wasn't so horrible, really. I mean, I figured out how to get money to pay for things she couldn't and I wasn't too drunk or too high to remember to do it and so, it wasn't like there was nowhere I could have been. I had a place to live, I just chose not to live in it. I didn't go back at all after I was fourteen.

"Because that's when the vampire thing happened. And I met Kharisma and Jack, and I mostly stayed with them after that. But they moved around a lot and eventually they were moving out of Flagstaff and they couldn't really bring me with them. So they introduced me to Marcellus, and Marcellus brought me back with him to the Hermetic chantry and it was the first place I'd every thought of as good or safe.

"And that was great until it exploded, and I managed to land under it. Anyway, I got out from under it, and I got my girlfriend out from under it. And she dragged me around for awhile before she dropped me off in some park and Santiago, which is how I met Ramon, and ah...he prayed. A lot. And, I didn't die. But I only got so much better because as it turns out, shattered bones don't heal really well if you aren't really in a place to treat them for a few weeks."

Alexander

He looks back at Kalen as he asks if it’s Callisto. The name doesn’t mean anything until he elaborates, but then he nods. “I guess that would be her, yeah. She’s lying down over by the pool, but I’m not sure if she’s sleeping or watching me watching her.” As Kalen seems to be looking in the direction, imagining where she is? He describes where the spirit bear is with a little more detail. “See that big rock? She’s just behind it, facing away from the water.” Shoshannah let him see her..?

But that train of thought is derailed slightly as Kalen talks more about his past. Alexander is quiet while the other man speaks, just letting him talk. And his attention is fully on Kalen now, watching him as he explains where he came from.

“Yeah, I see that. Kids looking after their parents because they’re too out of it to look after themselves. Some get help. Others..?” He goes silent. The system is imperfect, and it’s often those most need of help that refuse to even admit that there’s a problem. Then it’s only when things get really bad that the police, or Child Services, really get involved. And by then? It’s often too late, and the child follows the path laid down by the parent. But sometimes? People get out of the rut. He sighs, then asks, “I guess your father wasn’t around?”

He goes silent again for a few moment, thinking. The last of the coffee in the mug is drained too. Cold, but still drinkable – the coffee in the cupboard is apparently good stuff. “I think I get why you want to get Sid, Alyssa and me together now.”

He looks back out, but up at the dark clouds passing over this time. There’s a flash and a roll of thunder follows some seconds later. The storm isn’t all that close. “Do you feel safe here? With others around?”

Kalen Holliday

"Nothing is safe," he says softly. "Even mountains fall eventually. New ones will rise. Stars will turn into black holes and new stars will get born and one day the sky constellations people used to navigate ships will all be gone and there will be entirely new maps of stars.

"But it's my home now, and I love it for that." He pulls out a pack of clove cigarillos, lights one, and offers the pack to Alexander still without looking at him. "I like you all being here. It's sort of horrifying, caring about people, but I guess even I need them. I sleep better. When there are people. I just don't because...."

And then he switches abruptly to an easier topic. "I don't even know his name, my father. Considering the company my mother kept, it's probably only spared me further disappointment."

Alexander

Alexander doesn’t remember seeing Kalen this down before. He turns to look at Kalen again, as Kalen keeps looking away. “When you put it that way, no. But... how long were you planning on living for? Those mountains are going to be there for a good while yet. And the stars aren’t going to disappear tonight. Even if nothing lasts forever, sometimes it just lasts long enough for what you need.” He thinks for a moment about a conversation on the grass not too long ago, talking about how the stars themselves might already have winked out and how they were seeing them as they were thousands of years ago. There’s probably some clever metaphor there, but he can’t think of one.

“How long have you been in the city now, to start calling it home?” The offer of a cigarillo is turned down with a gesture. “And when did you start smoking?”

People are amazing things. On the one hand, they can be inherently good and reach out to each other. On the other? They can be cruel and selfish, unthinking of those they hurt. Alexander hasn’t personally experienced as much of the bad as Kalen seems to, but he’s certainly had his share. And an outsider’s view of much more. So he sounds sad when he continues. “You can’t protect everyone, you know. They need to look after themselves first, otherwise you just end up controlling them. And even then...” He shrugs. “Shit happens.”

Looking back out, he switches topic along with Kalen. “I know the name of mine from the cheques every month. That’s about all I remember, though.”

Kalen Holliday

[Per-Aware: Wait? Do I know what you're thinking there?]

Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 9) ( success x 5 )

Alexander

[Basically, Alexander is worried about Kalen. This really isn't the face that he's used to seeing on the man, and he can't help but wonder what's changed. The history certainly explains a lot about the further past, but nothing more recent that might be bothering him. He may not be doing much good at cheering Kalen up, but he's really just trying to get the guy to realise more that he isn't on his own.]

Kalen Holliday

"I don't know. Well before it was legal." He sighs. "Time is different for me. I just...I can see so much more of it than you do. Time and fate in this fucking unbelievable tapestry. How long I will or won't live is irrelevant, really. Probably not long, that's a rare thing for one of my House."

"And I-" Kalen suddenly half sits up and turns to look at Alex. "Oh. Fuck. I'm not sad. I know people think I sound like I'm about to fling myself off a bridge but I rather love my life. I probably will die sooner than later, but not because I think life is worthless. You can't do the things I do unless you know it's this brilliant, sacred thing. I didn't join my House because I wanted to die, I joined my House because I wanted people to live.

"And my childhood was great, with a notable exception. I got to actually go on adventures, and climb into forgotten places and explore and all kinds of things I should probably not tell you, but you know if you ever lock you keys in your car...." And now his voice is all rich with amusement and warmth again.

"I'm not sad all the time, I'm just fucking tired. And not like depression tired, like I have horrible nightmares and never sleep tired. I'm okay." He says, as though constant nightmares and okay are things that go together in the worlds of normal people.

He reaches out with the hand not holding a cigarillo and nudges Alexander. "Seriously, it's okay. I'm okay, you're okay, the sky isn't going to fall tonight. It's okay."

Alexander

[Alex's turn - are you really ok, or are you trying not to freak out the newbie?]

Dice: 4 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 5, 8) ( success x 1 )

Alexander

“So how do you see time, then? Isn’t it something you can turn on and off like this seeing spirits thing?”

Oh. Fuck. Alexander turns back when Kalen stirs into life. The change is a little surprising because, apparently like a lot of people, he had thought something more than a lack of sleep had been bothering the man. “Ah.” He smiles, looking a little sheepish. “You... It just seemed like there was more to it than just a lack of sleep. I... well. Okay.” He shrugs. “We can make coffee, if you like. Not that helps with sleeping, but it doesn’t hurt with staying a little more awake.”

He sits forward and nudges Kalen back on the shoulder before relaxing back again. “I’m pretty sure there are statutes of limitations for most of the things you might have gotten up to. Although I guess anything you might get into trouble with the Order for is best left alone. Although,” he glances back at Kalen when he asks,” tell me about your House.”

Kalen Holliday

"In general, yes. You've seen me look through time, when we met the Message, when Sera and I reached back to let him know we'd come, when he was an Archmage and not really the Message, but was about to become the Message." Kalen smiles a little, because he adored the Message, who was all angelic light and warmth and definitely more the kind of warm golden light that is strawberries and not peaches like Hawksley and Sera thinks he's obsessed with raspberries, but it's blackberries he and Grace are on about and that's only because he needed to know if she was a fox or a leopard so he could Name her and the raspberry liqueur was only for-

Focus.

"Mmmmmmmmm....as tempting as never sleeping again is, I think my brain may actually melt." Kalen himself sort of melts back onto the patio chair like he might be impersonating a Dali clock. "And yeah. I don't think you care. That's never really worried me. Grace is freaked out as Hell, but she can't help it.

"So....House Adrenaline Junkie, more properly called House Flambeau is one of the noble Houses of the noble and glorious Order of Hermes." He laughs. "The Houses of the Order, are, of course, many and varied. Flambeau is perhaps the House most familiar to many outside Magi-" He doesn't say outside Magi like he means it dismissively, or as anything but Mages outside the Order. "-because if there is a crisis somewhere we are likely to get sent out to help. And even if the crisis is one that needs knowledge more than violence...well...not all of our librarians are secretly ninjas. But don't tell anyone I admitted to that.

"We're the sword of the Order, her Knights and her Hands. There are others who search through books or cast runes, on the whole. By and large, we are devoted to war. Ceaseless war, like...." He frowns. "Like the Hindu, you know. Endless reincarnations of struggle. But those are also endless incarnations of life and purpose and beauty and everything you fight wars for, but we're not...we're more off fighting and less why.

"I think you could be into it. You've got the temperament we need instead of the one we often get. You care about justice more than victory and peace more than glory. Some of us aren't like that. They're mostly not like me. They think I'm a mongrel, on account of my prior training, and my choosing a multi-tradition chantry and co-founding a cabal with a Hollower is not going to help that." He laughs. "But I learned from Marcellus, and even if they hate me they can only question his judgment so much. He lived for centuries and he's a fucking legend." There is respect in Kalen's tone, but more than that honest affection. "He picked me for all those things. He picked me because I was not like them in ways he meant to remind them of what they could have been and still might be. I still think it was a bit mad, thinking he could train some some car thief who didn't know how to let anyone near him to be a paragon of nobility and purity of purpose, but he was the most brilliant strategist I ever met.

"And, I don't know that I'm the best example. I'm probably not. I think you'd be a better one, really. I'm kind of like a monster sometimes. I don't mean to be, but I just...come with all the background that typically makes someone human in all the non-biological ways, you know. It makes me awesome at killing monsters that look like people, though. Which, my first partner couldn't and she died for that. So it may not be the best thing, but it isn't the worst one, either. But it's why I wanted you and Alyssa and Sid in the cabal. You can remind me when I forget."

Kalen Holliday

[DON'T. I just..._don't_ come with all the background that typically makes someone human.... I love when I forget words that completely change the meaning of a sentence.]

Alexander

“Yeah, I remember.” Alexander smiles too, at the memory of that encounter. So poignant – the end of one life, but the Archmage giving it up to create a new one. “You did something with a handful of dust. Is that for the link to the past? For, like... old, dusty books and tombs and stuff? Or for the flow?”

He listens as Kalen explains his house, and is thoughtful. He watches Callisto resting while he listens, then silence descends while he thinks about what he’s heard. “The House? When you put it like that, it does sound almost appealing. But..” he pauses again for a few moments, trying to put things into words. “The why matters, at least to me it does anyway. You’re right saying I care about justice, and that’s why it matters. I need to know what I’m doing is right, and I can’t get that if I’m told to go off and do something without knowing why.” He turns to face Kalen again, asking, ”What happens if you don’t agree? That you think the war you’re being told to fight is wrong?”

“There’s more to it, though. I hate the idea that I’d always be looked down on by the others in the Order. Just having been spotted before Waking Up doesn’t make anyone better or worse, and...” his speech gets a little louder, “that kind of elitism is wrong. It wouldn’t really matter, would it, what else I did. I’d always be...less.”

He takes a breath. “Sorry. I’m not trying to offend you. I just...” He pauses again. “I don’t think I’d be as good a fit with the Order as you think I might be. I just needed to hear more before I really knew, I guess. Alyssa said I should try to look more at the philosophy behind the teams.” He shrugs, looks back out at the darkening sky.

A few more moments pass before he carries on talking. “I think I could work with you and Alyssa, though. You guys know Sid much better than I do, so I guess... We could see how things work out, the four of us?”

Kalen Holliday

"I don't think you'll fit. God knows I don't. I think you're something they need, if they're going to be everything that they could be, and that is entirely different. I've told them to go to Hell a few times. They haven't kicked me out yet." He laughs. "You have time. And the snooty looks...they aren't so bad if you know who you are."

Considering the Dali clock imitation, Kalen doesn't really relax more when Alexander says yes to the cabal, but he does smile and let out a slow breath. "Good. You're not signing your life away. If you decide you want to leave, no one is going to stop you. I know it seems like we want you to make all the life altering choices, but...all of them are. You just make new ones constantly. No one thing can define anything. Not your Tradition or your cabal or any of that, not anymore than what flavor of ice cream is your favorite."

Alexander

Alexander rubs his hands over his face, groaning a little. “Still working on that bit. Figuring out who I am, I mean. I guess that’s why I’m so keen on trying to find a place for myself. Although I suppose that’s pretty much the same as people defining who they are by what they do.” The hands come down and land in his lap. “But never say never, I guess. But there are other Traditions I need a better look at and, like you say, there’s time to decide.”

“Oh don’t worry, I don’t have any problems with the decisions even if it can take a while to make up my mind about things. And what I said earlier, about trying to do too much for someone ends up controlling them? Just don’t, not with me anyway.” He snorts. “I don’t much like being controlled or manipulated. Or told to...” he smiles as he makes a shoo motion with his hands.

Kalen Holliday

He reaches out and squeezes Alexander's shoulder at the face rubbing. Only for a second, he doesn't really do sustained contact with Alexander. But he doesn't otherwise address that.

"If people know you're controlling them, at least in my experience, you are doing it very wrong. At least in the sense you're talking about."

Alexander

There’s no flinch or withdraw from the contact, whether or not Kalen is expecting one. It is appreciated, though. “I guess most people change so much through their lives that it’s pretty normal, right?” It’s more of a rhetorical question.

Kalen gets a look when he says that people knowing they’re being controlled means you’re doing it wrong. “One thing about the cabal. Don’t hide things from me. Even if you’re trying to protect me. I don’t mean everyone’s deepest darkest secrets. I mean... About things that come up. You want to be reminded of the why when you forget? Then I need to know. ”

Kalen Holliday

Kalen rolls onto his side so that he can really see Alexander. "What about the things I hide to protect other people?"

Alexander

Alexander sighs, thinking. Things to do with him are easy. Things to do with others..? “I don’t know. But I guess that comes down to trust. Trust that you’re hiding something for the right reasons. But, on the flip side, that you trust us enough to tell us what we need to know.”

Kalen Holliday

"Trust is weird," Kalen says. He is serious now, but also exhausted, so Alexander is being watched through solemn half-closed eyes. It is not entirely unlike being watched by a cat. "But I kind of get it now." And perhaps it is because he is less than fully awake that he adds, a bit wistfully. "I want to."

Alexander

Alexander laughs quietly. “Like anything much these days isn’t weird? Anything important, anyway.” The laughing fades, though, as Alexander stretches his legs out in front of him, leaning back on the chair and resting the base of his head on the top of the backrest . “Some clever guy once said ‘you have time’. It’s not bad advice.”

Kalen Holliday

"In the interest of full disclosure, which is apparently very important to you, particularly about things which involve you, that comment makes me very sad none of these cushions are easy enough to detach that I can throw one at you." He laughs, "Also I am probably going to fall asleep on you in like the next ten minutes. Fuck...."

Alexander

Alexander laughs too, looking back at the Node and thinking of something Kalen said earlier on. He looks at him, close to dozing off, and mentally shrugs. What the hell...

Alexander pushes himself back up in the chair. “Let me try something,” he says as he picks up the mirror from the table again. “No idea if this will work...” He looks into the mirror, concentrating, focussing on the other side. “But when was anything fun easy?”

[Ohgodohgod... Arete, spirit sight. TN4, -1 for the node. Need 2 succs? One for the effect, one for Kalen? ]

Dice: 1 d10 TN3 (6) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Alexander

Everything seems to freeze, just for a fraction of a second. And then..?

Callisto, in all her resting glory, is now visible to Kalen. At least for a short while. A deep rustling announces the arrival of rain, but Alexander is happy to sit there for as long as Kalen is. If the other man does fall asleep where he is, then there's a handy blanket inside that he'll use to cover him.

Kalen Holliday

Kalen smiles when he sees Callisto, because who wouldn't love her? All huge and majestic and so overwhelmingly not like anything else. But even for Callisto his eyes do not actually stay open long.

He doesn't say anything normal, like goodnight or thank you for showing me that awesome bear spirit I think is about the best thing ever. No, he is quiet for awhile, long enough that Alexander might think he is asleep, and then he murmurs, "wake me before you leave, would you?"

Alexander

“I will.” Alexander stands, but not to leave. He heads inside with the empty coffee mug and returns a short time later with it refilled. He’s also got the blanket and a cushion taken from the living room, which he puts on the table next to Kalen in case he wants them. There’s a bit of an overhang where the patio is, so they’re in the lea of the house when the rain – and, later, the storm – do arrive. Alexander is happy just sitting there, watching the guardian of this place, the rain, Kalen.

Just being.