You’ve changed

Kalen Holliday

[You want to start or shall I?]

Alex

[I don't mind starting]

Kalen Holliday

[Okay. I will let you do that then.]

Alex

Somewhere in Denver there is a warehouse-and-office complex. It’s a complex that has been there for a while, a place that doesn’t really stand out and anything special. Two buildings, surrounded by tall fencing, are secured by a gate that has, on closer inspection, a suspiciously advanced security system. These features are repeated, once you manage to get into the grounds and start trying to get through the doors. It’s not the easiest of places to get into, unless you’re expected, welcomed, or been introduced to the security system.

Appearances can be deceiving, though, and these buildings house more than might be expected from first glance. There’s the library, housing who knows what knowledge. (If we’re being pedantic, probably Kalen, as its caretaker, and Grace, through her work in digitizing the arcane information for the Awakened masses.) The offices, where the occupants work and Work.

Then there’s the firing range; because all warehouses have a firing range, equipped with a decent selection of weapons. All secured, all in their own little space. Well, until someone comes and breaks them free for a little while. That might be for when they’re to be used on the latest piece of unpleasantness to grace the city and its surroundings. Or it might be when they’re taken out, cleaned, tested, and returned.

And this is where we find Alexander on this warm and sunny afternoon. If his resonance seeping into the surroundings isn’t hint enough on its own that he’s around, the bike parked outside is another. He’s dressed in boots, black combat shorts and a plain red t-shirt, with a couple of smudged grease marks on his face. The pistol – something small, low calibre – is currently aimed at a paper target somewhere along the range. A phone sits on a table, sharing the space with various pieces of cleaning equipment. Something fairly ambient fills the silence, between the loud, sharp cracks of test shots.

Kalen Holliday

Kalen has been having the kind of month where he has to seriously consider whether or not he wants to approach Alexander while he is currently holding a weapon. In the end, he determines that if Alexander wanted to avoid him, he could have gone to use some other firing range. It is hardly as though Denver had a shortage of firing ranges and Alexander more than most of the Magi in town, has little reason not to be found in one.

And so, Kalen wanders out to the warehouse. He comes bearing gifts because Kalen likes to have gifts, though in this case the gifts are bottled water because neither snacks nor whiskey seemed appropriate to bring to the firing range. Tea..just seems incongruous. He does not come in through the door to the outside, instead coming in through one of the other warehouse doors and moving from there to the interior door. It's a longer walk, but Kalen is warier now than he was a few months ago. Warier and not nearly so inclined to trust in the glimpses of the best natures he sees in people.

He's not dressed up at all, jeans and a purple shirt so pale it seems nearly white (it was probably more notably purple once) that is soft and tight enough to cling to him. Kalen is still thin, but there is only the faintest trace of the outlines of his ribs now. There are hints of muscle now, for all that Kalen isn't concerned with that. If he is pleased with anything about his improved condition, it's his balance and not that he looks better in fitted clothing.

Once he reaches the doorway he stops, leans into the doorframe, and waits.

Alex

[Dex+Firearms, make the paper target suffer! Or botch and shoot Kalen?]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 4, 4, 5, 8) ( success x 1 )

Alex

[Ah, yeah, and that Awareness thing]

Dice: 4 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 3, 6) ( success x 1 )

Alex

[*squints at the dice roller*]

Alex

Not so long ago, there had been an individual in the city surrounded by the sense of a storm. For over a year that presence had announced that person’s arrival, or their presence. It was something that Alex had just taken for granted, that it would always be there in one form or another.

That it had changed so completely? Hell, he hadn’t even known that could happen. He’d just assumed that resonance was something that was constant, consistent, around Awakened. Oh, something that could broaden and deepen and become more complex. He’d seen it happen a few times for some of the others, but there had always been a consistent flow from what it had been into what it became.

This new combination is, really, exactly that. New. And it’s getting closer, something that it takes a while for Alex to register. Maybe his mind is on other things – there’s never any shortage of other things to be thinking about – or maybe it’s just not his day for being overly perceptive. Either way, the presence is noted at the door and checked with a glance – it’s not, yet, familiar enough to be familiar and comfortable. Alex glances, and then returns to his aim. It’s a little off – not exactly central – but it still hits the black outline of a person on the paper target. The round fired, Alex ejects the magazine and checks the chamber – empty. He sets the pistol and empty magazine on the counter before turning to perch on the edge of it, looking at the man at the door.

“You’re looking well.” There’s a smile that goes along with the simple statement, something a little awkward.

Kalen Holliday

"Am I?" Kalen asks. It's reflexive and a little curious, because Kalen doesn't really know what to make of that. He shrugs a little. "I suppose you've never known me when I slept. I did look pretty awful for awhile. This is more like normal, I guess." There is a slight smile. "For awhile I was in great shape, actually, but I doubt I'm ever going to have that training schedule again."

He glances at the target and then looks back to Alexander. "Am I disturbing you? Because I can go." He has very rarely hidden from Alex, but for all he is practically posed in the doorframe he is hiding now. Cautious. Uncertain.

Alex

“I just assumed lousy sleep was normal for you, what with the whole dreaming what was going to happen to people thing.” He shrugs. “But it’s good that you’re sleeping better.” He smiles again, a little awkwardly again, offering just a little bit of teasing. “You really did look like crap at times.”

Am I disturbing you? Alex glances over his shoulder at the target, a little annoyed that the shot had gone a little wide. “I think I was disturbed about 18 months ago, I’m not entirely sure I’ve not been undisturbed since.” That awkwardness again. “No, it’s fine. He’s not going anywhere,” he points back up the range with a thumb, “and I could probably use the break.” Alex twists, picking up the pistol and the magazine, before returning to the table with the cleaning materials.

Kalen Holliday

Kalen listens and then nods and stays where he is. He would have come closer once, would have reached out and touched Alexander in greeting or because of empathy. For now he stays still. Distant.

"It does change the world for us," he says quietly. "It remains the same world, for all it doesn't seem that way for awhile. I think my introduction to this was, in some ways, easier than yours. Possibly not in the first few minutes, but the first few months after were...some of the best months I had ever had. They still are some of the best months I've ever had, really. And they were only possible because of my Awakening.

"It was, to me, entirely a good thing. And that...I did not realise at the time how lucky I was to experience it in the way that I did."

Alex

There’s the movement of tools, the twisting of something in Alex’s hands, and the pistol comes apart. It’s all easy, practiced movement, as is the threading of a cloth through the barrel after he sits on the edge of the table, feet resting on the top of a stool. “I’m pretty sure the wall isn’t going to fall down if you stop supporting it. You can make yourself comfortable, you know, it is your place after all.”

The movements are practiced, ingrained in muscle memory, so they don’t draw Alex’s attention away from Kalen as he talks. It’s an automatic thing, the cleaning, although maybe the breaking apart of the weapon wasn’t entirely thoughtless. Their previous meeting had been somewhat tense, Alex feeling threatened by sudden, unexpected strangeness in someone he knew.

Or thought he knew. But, then, things had been happening that he didn’t know anything about. Or, for that matter, the effect they’d had on Kalen. His friend. Hopefully, still his friend. “If there was anything to hand that isn’t likely to cause an injury, I should probably be throwing it at you about now.” There’s a brief smile, an attempt at humour, remembering possibly better times.

“You’ve changed. What’s happened?”

Kalen Holliday

"Ours," Kalen says absently. "This place has never been mine. I bought it. But it was never for me." At least Kalen, now that he's invited at least in some sense, comes over to lean on the table where Alexander is working. It's not quite the casual use of Alexander as furniture that has happened in the past, but Alexander is trying to accomplish something. The threat to throw things gets a little amused huff, very much like old times.

"I thought about calling, but then I thought you might need to do your detective thing. Figure out for yourself that I wasn't actually some creepy spy imposter. Somehow pestering you in an attempt to make you realise I was who I said I was seemed just a touch ill-advised. I assumed you'd call me me if I was due an interrogation." He doesn't sound angry, but he hasn't entirely let his guard down.

Kalen sighs. "I'm guessing you don't mean the new vibes? Since you probably found out about that, somewhere in the whole detective-ing."

Alex

The movement of the cloth through the barrel slows, almost to the point that it seem that it’s been forgotten about. It mostly has, given that it hadn’t really needed cleaning again. It was simply something to keep his hands occupied, something to try to distract him from his nerves and worrying about what could happen.

There’s a thoughtful pause, a pause during which Alex takes a look through the barrel for dirt. There’s none to be seen, but he carries on polishing anyway. “That was probably best. I’d apologise for what happened in the park, but I don’t know if it would be an honest thing to do. You probably know more than I do about how screwed up things can get in this life of ours, so having someone who looks like a friend but who feels completely different creeping up on me?” There’s a lopsided shrug. “I am sorry for hurting you, though.

“Grace explained a few things, but I didn’t really ask about the details of what actually happened. She said you’d had a Seeking and that it had changed you, or at least your whole vibe thing. Beyond that, I don’t really know what happened. And things started getting bad weird again, so...” There’s another shrug, this one with Alex looking a little sheepish. “I got tied up with other things, and it seemed like the best idea to talk to you about it when we next met. I know these things can be very personal, so it didn’t seem... right finding things out through the grapevine. I just didn’t expect it to take so damned long.”

Alex looks up from the cloth, meeting Kalen’s gaze. “Are you ok?”

Kalen Holliday

Kalen is quiet while Alexander speaks and he lets that first question pass. He assumes that it is rhetorical.

I'm sorry for hurting you, though. That gets a little blink, less because Kalen had largely pretended to be unbothered than because he just isn't used to apologies. Anyone who knew him, and Alexander certainly knew him, would have known better than to believe the way he'd wandered off as though he had no pressing interest in whether or not Alexander thought he was a clone.

Kalen doesn't really have much other visible, readable expression change until Alexander asks if he's okay. Then there are so many emotions they aren't really readable for a second. And then Kalen smiles.

And then he hugs Alexander with about as much warning as the first time. "You have no idea how fucking much I missed you."

Alex

The smile should have been warning that something was about to happen, but it registered just a little too late. Not that much would have changed, other than maybe putting down the barrel and the cloth before his arms got pinned to his side as Kalen wrapped his arms around him.

He does relax, though – Kalen will feel the tension dropping out of Alex’s shoulders. “Maybe just warn me next time something funky happens and it looks like you’ve been replaced? It was bad enough thinking you’d been body swapped, then weird spiritual crap started happening, and not it sounds like the Union are starting to sniff around.” Alex sighs. “I’ve missed you too, though. And you really have changed, haven’t you? I think this is the...best I’ve ever seen you.”

Once released, and now that there isn’t so much need to occupy his hands, Alex returns the cloth and barrel to the table before turning to perch on its edge. “So what did happen to you?”

Kalen

"Yes, the advisability of that course of action did occur to me later." Kalen says as he settles against the edge of the table next to Alexander.

He makes a soft protesting sound when Alexander mentions the Technocracy. "No. Stop. I have lost enough sleep over that lately. I demand at least two minutes to just have my best friend back before I have to think about all the ways everyone might die. Maybe three."

"What happened to me? I...fell in love with a vampire and realised that maybe if that was possible all the things I thought I knew about the world might not be so accurate. And then we had some philosophy discussions about that and...then my Avatar and I had a moment. And...I opened myself up to a lot of things I had shut myself off from.

"Which has probably been really good for me, but it drives me crazy actually experiencing emotions and the things causing those emotions at the same time." He rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands and sighs again. "I fucking fell apart on Ian while he was trying to give me a tango lesson."

He turns to look at Alex and he smiles a little and his eyes drop a little bit and he makes a sound that is almost a laugh. "Feelings make me such a mess. I really am not sure having them was the best tactical decision."

Alex

“On the upside, you didn’t pick a time when I was armed to show up. I think drawing a gun on you might have freaked Lavinia out even more. Although seeing how she handles herself, maybe not all that much. Have you met her, by the way?”

Alex nudges Kalen with an elbow, nodding at the bottles of water that he’d carried down. “Fair enough, I’m pretty sure they’re not going anywhere. Take five.” Another nudge. “You’ve probably earned it by now.”

“You know, of all the people who shouldn’t assume that the world is what we think it is, it really shouldn’t be us. Awakened, that is. I mean, that whole Waking Up thing running over you and leaving you in a bloody heap on the sidewalk? Yeah, there’s a hell of a lesson. I just don’t get why your vibe thing changed so completely. I didn’t know that could be a thing. Grace said this happens every time you go through a Seeking, though?”

“It’ll get better? I’m guessing. I mean, maybe it’s just a practice thing and you won’t feel so swamped once you get used to it? Or drink until they go away. But that’s probably a bad plan.

“And screw tactics. If having them makes you happier, or more complete, or whatever, then keep on doing it. It’s not like you have to do everything on your own.” Alex gives Kalen a meaningful look. “Right?”

Kalen

"I have met her, though only ever briefly." That nudging gets a bit of a smile from Kalen. He reaches out to slide one water bottle closer to Alexander and then grabs the other one.

"Mmmmmmmhmmmmm," Kalen says, leaning a little into Alexander. "But, you see, we have these moments of such transcendent clarity. And at fist we throw ourselves wide to possibility and then we start to dissect all these new facets of the universe. We reach out to grasp something sacred and it turns into something lesser in our hands because it can only be to us what we can perceive.

"And then we take what we've found and we share it, and that goes fine for awhile, but the next thing you know we have Traditions and rules and we can't even really remember where we came from." He sighs and opens his water bottle.

"Well, I doubt you're willing to go with me on it being sacred, but something vast and unknowable at least." Kalen takes a drink.

"You were right, I think. Not to join the Order. You...you won't try to see it through anyone's eyes but your own and you're in a place where you still can have any of the resources most of us can."

"Seekings change everyone. Not always this completely. I'm...my last Seeking was right after the last chantry I belonged to was destroyed. I...I was very different then. I didn't...I couldn't look at the world like this then. I don't know that my next Seeking will lead to quite so dramatic a change. This...this is more like who I was before. Different, too." He smiles a little. "But I'll warn you next time."

Kalen laughs. "And yeah, I know. I knew you'd come back. I just...really missed you."

Alex

“She seems cool. Not that we talked an amazing amount before the others in the bar we bumped into each other in decided that it was much too quiet a night.” Alex runs a finger along his jaw, even though the bruising has long since faded.

Alex takes the bottle and twists the cap off, taking a slow sip as Kalen talks. “Because there are people who think that they are right, and they try to make other people see things their way? I’ve never been on for religion or anything like that, but a lot of it seems to work along the lines of the guys at the top telling you what to think and what to do. Do it another way and you’re just not doing it right and, hey, straight to hell you go. If you try to see things through someone else’s eyes, are you really going to be seeing the world as it is? It’s… like putting someone else’s glasses on, I guess?

“You most sound like you regret joining them.”

“I’m sure there’s some saying about the only consistent thing in the world being change. Or was it death and taxes? Either way, you’re still you. And I will still throw things at you if you try taking on the world by yourself.

“And I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”

Kalen

"No," Kalen says softly. "I do not regret joining them at all. I needed them. They're my family, Alce. Sometimes they make me crazy and sometimes I make them crazy, but they're my family. This...I've made this my home. And I may like being a little outside the range that sees their most frequent attention. But even so, I love them. Maybe sometimes I hate them too, but that changes nothing about love. It just makes it more complicated."

He sighs heavily. "Speaking of violent disagreements, one of them wants to make the vampires and the Technocrats fight and then finish off what's left. And most of you haven't really had to fight vampires or Technocrats, but I've done both. It won't be pretty. People will die.

"And...for all we go on about the Technocracy...maybe we fought a war we didn't have to fight there. They are by no means not dangerous and they are by no means our friends and I do not want to go hold their hands and sing kumbaya. They've killed friends of mine. I don't expect that we can have anything more than an uneasy peace.

"But I am so tired of everyone dying. I am especially tired of people dying for nothing more than that in the past other people died. And, honestly, I'm not sure how much of that war is still about anything else. If they were willing to just leave us alone, I was willing to just leave them alone."

Alex

“Well, that sounds like family alright. They drive you mad, but you wouldn’t want to live without them. And they’re there when you need them.”

There’s another sip of water. “Is that your watcher who wants to kick the hornet nests and hope to get out of the way before they explode? Or someone else who should stop trying to play power games and pay attention to the pieces?

“I really don’t like the idea of either of them, but I think you’re right. But I’d like to point out that you were the one who brought them up again, and it hasn’t been five minutes.” Alex nudges Kalen again, slipping the bottle back onto the table and picking up a couple of gun parts to start slotting them back together.

Kalen

"I'm really bad at not thinking about all the ways that people might die." Kalen sighs, then smiles faintly. "So...some things definitely haven't changed."

"I'm not thrilled about vampires or Technocrats in general, but on threats to the city at large...I'm pretty sure there are more deaths attributable to domestic violence annually than either of them. Hell, probably both of them combined. That doesn't absolve them of their sins, but...if I'm pick a fight I'd rather it be one for the most good. And in this case, I don't think that's what this would be.

"I felt differently, once. But then there were zombies. And...Ceth. I just-" There is a pause while Kalen takes a breath. "I'm not sure I really want to take out the people who are good at hunting monsters. I know they count us on their list of monsters. But there are a lot of other things on that list and a lot of them are really monsters.

"Oh. And something from that whole mess is back. Grace is investigating it." Kalen sighs heavily. "I'm just really glad you're back. Have you figured much out about those spirits? I'm no real help there for you, I'm afraid, but if you need me, I'm there anyway."

Alex

The pieces of gun slot together quickly, easily, and a few twists of a tool locks them all into place. “Sounds like some things really haven’t.” Alex nudges Kalen again before pushing up from the table, heading to the gun store to put the pistol back in its cage and lock it away.

“Come on, enough worrying about that stuff right now.” He pulls at Kalen’s shirt sleeve, pulling towards the exit. “There’s a new diner over on West 12th that’s supposed to do pretty good pie. And stop worrying about dying all the time, or I’ll stick you on the back of my bike, drive you there, and really give you something to worry about.”

Kalen

Kalen lets himself be tugged toward the exit. "Okay. We can worry about what kind of pie we want instead of all this. That sounds kind of perfect actually."